The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable.
QUENTIN CRISPTo live in the past is to miss today’s opportunities and tomorrow’s blessings.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.
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Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret.
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When I was young, we thought that Oscar Wilde was a great nobleman who had thrown his life away for love. Nothing could be less true. He slept with East Enders who were procured for him by Lord Alfred Douglas.
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Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
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I never spend my time doing anything I’ll have to do again tomorrow.
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As we all know from witnessing the consuming jealousy of husbands who are never faithful, people do not confine themselves to the emotions to which they are entitled.
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Because it is in the nature of things that they become extreme, we have passed down from manliness to cruelty. If I had been told when I was 20 that there was a tavern in the town where the brave and the cruel were gathered together,
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You will survive if you believe in yourself.
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My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
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I don’t think you can really be proud of being gay because it isn’t something you’ve done. You can only be proud of not being ashamed.
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I would have run all the way and I would have gone up to the largest and leatheriest of the denizens and said: If you truly love me, kill the bartender.
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The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.
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It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn’t give enough.
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Believe in fate, but lean forward where fate can see you.
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If a man were to look over the fence on one side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his left had laid his garden path round a central lawn; and were to look over the fence on the other side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his right had laid his path down the middle of the lawn.
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People are not heterosexual or homosexual, just sexual.
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Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
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I recommend limiting one’s involvement in other people’s lives to a pleasantly scant minimum. This may seem too stoical a position in these madly passionate times, but madly passionate people rarely make good on their madly passionate promises.
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Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
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The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.
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I don’t really act. I say the words the way I would say them if I meant them.
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You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality.
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If I were God – and I never understand why I’m not – I should say, “Shop around, I don’t think you’ll find a better bargain than here.”
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The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
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The more people one has to love, the more one’s capacity to love stretches.
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To live in the past is to miss today’s opportunities and tomorrow’s blessings.
QUENTIN CRISP