You fall out of your mother’s womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
QUENTIN CRISPThe English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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Fashion is a way of not having to decide who you are. Style is deciding who you are and being able to perpetuate it.
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Quentin Crisp (to handsome young man on the street): “What’s the matter, sexy? Don’t you like dehydrated fruit?
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I went out into the world when I was about 22. I wrote books and I illustrated books and did book covers, and I taught tap-dancing, and I was a model in the art school. I had no ability for any of those things, but what else could I do?
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In England, nobody’s your friend.
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I simply haven’t the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
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Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
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The English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
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While I have very little to say in favor of sex (it’s vastly overrated, it’s frequently unnecessary, and it’s messy), it is greatly to be preferred to the interminable torments of romantic agony through which two people tear one another limb from limb while professing altruistic devotion.
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I never saw Portsmouth by day.
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I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
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I never understood music. It seemed to me to be the maximum amount of noise conveying the minimum amount of information.
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The measure of woman’s distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr’s crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain.
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Happiness is the only thing I understand.
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People say to me, “When did you come out?” But I was never in! When I was about six, I was swanning around the house in clothes that belonged to my mother and my grandmother which I’d found in an attic, saying, “I am a beautiful princess!”
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If you don’t stay in some days, you can’t recharge your batteries.
QUENTIN CRISP