Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
QUENTIN CRISPThe English think that incompetence is the same thing as sincerity.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.
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I never saw Portsmouth by day.
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I never understood music. It seemed to me to be the maximum amount of noise conveying the minimum amount of information.
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The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
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If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
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I never spend my time doing anything I’ll have to do again tomorrow.
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There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.
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Quentin Crisp (to handsome young man on the street): “What’s the matter, sexy? Don’t you like dehydrated fruit?
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The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as ‘Soho’ poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
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In an expanding universe, time is on the side of the outcast. Those who once inhabited the suburbs of human contempt find that without changing their address they eventually live in the metropolis.
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The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
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The key is never, never work. Nothing is more aging than work. It’s not only the strain of getting up in the morning for work, but it’s the resentment that settles on your face
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Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
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Well, it has done terrifying things. Religious ideas are inflammatory in a way that I find difficult to understand. There are very few wars over the theory of relativity. Very few heated arguments, for that matter. Whereas, in Northern Ireland, they are killing one another over religion.
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The more people one has to love, the more one’s capacity to love stretches.
QUENTIN CRISP






