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Men get laid, but women get screwed.

Quentin Crisp

I never understood music. It seemed to me to be the maximum amount of noise conveying the minimum amount of information.
QUENTIN CRISP

Amount Convey Information Maximum Minimum Music never Noise Seem Understand
I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them.
QUENTIN CRISP

Eat Glad Hate Like Peas Them
I’ve never not been famous.
QUENTIN CRISP

Been Famous never
However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
QUENTIN CRISP

However Level Low Man never Police Reach Sink
Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
QUENTIN CRISP

Ask Blame No Praise Then Yourself
To love another person you have to undertake some fragment of their destiny.
QUENTIN CRISP

Another Destiny Fragment Love Person Some Undertake
You fall out of your mother’s womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
QUENTIN CRISP

Life Love Relationship
Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan.
QUENTIN CRISP

Being Human Mariage Married State Such Unnatural
It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn’t give enough.
QUENTIN CRISP

All Explain Give Little Relationship Require Take Untrue
As we all know from witnessing the consuming jealousy of husbands who are never faithful, people do not confine themselves to the emotions to which they are entitled.
QUENTIN CRISP

Consume Emotion Entitle Faithful Husband Jealousy Know People Witness
It’s no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, ‘Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.’ By then, pigs will be your style.
QUENTIN CRISP

Ballet Big Dancer Farm Go Meant Pig Really Run Say Style Thirty Year
If I have any talent at all, it is not for doing but for being.
QUENTIN CRISP

All Being Go Talent
People are not heterosexual or homosexual, just sexual.
QUENTIN CRISP

Heterosexual Homosexual Just People Sexual
What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.
QUENTIN CRISP

Happy Like Must Only Person That Truly Were World
If I were God – and I never understand why I’m not – I should say, “Shop around, I don’t think you’ll find a better bargain than here.”
QUENTIN CRISP

Around Bargain Better Find God Shop Should Think Understand
There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.
QUENTIN CRISP

At All Housework Need To Do

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

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Men get laid, but women get screwed.

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