Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
P. J. O'ROURKENo doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
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Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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Call a man ‘ignorant,’ and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.
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The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
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The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable.
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
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The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.
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America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession.
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When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
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A humorist doesn’t really do that much note-taking.
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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
P. J. O'ROURKE