Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
P. J. O'ROURKEPolitics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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Political leaders are expert at saying nothing.
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I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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I’m old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
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As a former writer for the ‘National Lampoon,’ I’ve probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
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Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.
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Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
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Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
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The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable.
P. J. O'ROURKE






