Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
P. J. O'ROURKEPolitics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
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I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
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We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren’t there.
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When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes – the whole bag of tricks.
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What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it’s so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I’ve received a spam text.
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Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'ROURKE






