Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
P. J. O'ROURKEIf we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.
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You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
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The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
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Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
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I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
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When you’re a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, ‘Gee, I wouldn’t want to be doing that.’ They’re on your side.
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Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
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You’re never going to read ‘The Wealth of Nations,’ and you shouldn’t, really. It’s 900 pages.
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Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
P. J. O'ROURKE