Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
P. J. O'ROURKEGay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
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The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I’m not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
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The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim Crow laws weren’t carried out at the bidding of a few malefactors of great wealth.
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Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
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People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it’s simply a measurement.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.
P. J. O'ROURKE