Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
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If you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.
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Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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Global warming is a fact. Now it’s up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step.
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Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
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Call a man ‘ignorant,’ and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.
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I believe in God. God created the world.
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Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
P. J. O'ROURKE