The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.
P. J. O'ROURKEWill Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
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Fiscal conservatism is just an easy way to express something that is a bit more difficult, which is that the size and scope of government, and really the size and scope of politics in our lives, has grown uncomfortable, unwieldy, intrusive and inefficient.
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Regulation creates a moral hazard.
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
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My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
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Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
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Never fight an inanimate object.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
P. J. O'ROURKE