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The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that’s the point.

P. J. O'Rourke

Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Bad Family Love Messy Pattern Wallpaper
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Another Brief Death History Impeach National Out President Thousand Worry
I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I’m not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Around Brown Country Dog Everything Except House Kid Look
Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Broken Interest Like More Paint Person Place Probably Sensible
There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Horizon Many Toledo Tree
A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Actually Dollar Federal Promise Research Silver
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Give Government Money Poer Teenage Whiskey
The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas – fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Atomic Bed Big Bomb Century Idea Test
Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Creep Economy Enfeeble Evil Image Individual Law Rule
The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Better Body Forever Lesson Often Older Presence Sort Teach Thing
Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Hope Ideology Imptent Journalism Joy Luxuniate Politics
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Government Make Mystery People Stop
Regulation creates a moral hazard.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Create Hazard Morale Regulation
When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Car Only Shout
Global warming is a fact. Now it’s up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Fact Global Greedy Importance Make Powerful Prevent Reality Warming
They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, ‘But doesn’t it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn’t it be set in New Guinea?’ And you say, ‘But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.’
P. J. O'ROURKE

Absolute Love People Really Say Script Stupid Write

The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that’s the point.

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The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that’s the point.

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Popular Authors

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