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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

P. J. O'Rourke

The Afghans themselves say that if you put two Afghans in a room, you get three factions.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Factor Put Room Themselves Two
It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Always Better Fun Make Someone Sure You
A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Greet Hat Lady Nothing Off Stupid Taken
Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Anticatalist Children Convince Example Occupy Thank Wall
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Behaviour Drunk Ever Holiday New Proper Season Yera
When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Car Only Shout
Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Accept Blink Eye Gay Happen Marriage
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Ask Came Children Form Go Grow Know Tell
Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Box Domino Eat Many Pizza Slice Wealth
The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Being Brat Irresponsible Spoil World
Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Catch Contemporary Country English Flourish Phrase
Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Annoyance Conundrum Necessary Politics
The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Communist Country Economy End Failure Line Long Made People Soviet
The minute somebody joins a committee… they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Brain Community Enthusiastic Immediately Join Minute Somebody Suffer
The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry – knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Billow Chivalry Dress Health Jerkin Knight Lady Sidesaddle Think Wimple
The baby boomers’ politics have covered a wide band of silliness, from the Weather Underground to the Timothy McVeigh types. The great majority of us are well in the middle of that spectrum, but still, there’s been both leftie silliness and right-wing silliness.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Baby Band Boomer Covered Great People Silliness Type Underground

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

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