Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
P. J. O'ROURKELittle islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
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Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as ‘caring’ and ‘sensitive’ because he wants to expand the government’s charitable programs is merely saying that he’s willing to try to do good with other people’s money.
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The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
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Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance.
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Why do elites hate the poor? It’s xenophobia. They don’t know any poor people – except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don’t speak English.
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Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
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No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession.
P. J. O'ROURKE






