Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
P. J. O'ROURKELittle islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Never fight an inanimate object.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it’s got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It’s not pretty. But it’s striking, I’ll give it that. It’s not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly.
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If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
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To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
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The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
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Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.
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Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
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The minute somebody joins a committee… they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee.
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The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there’s a reason for that – the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent – No Child Left Behind.
P. J. O'ROURKE