I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
P. J. O'ROURKERich people don’t like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don’t go in much for revolution or terrorism, either.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas – fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
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The budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God’s grace.
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Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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You’re never going to read ‘The Wealth of Nations,’ and you shouldn’t, really. It’s 900 pages.
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People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it’s simply a measurement.
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Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
P. J. O'ROURKE