The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
P. J. O'ROURKEPolitical leaders are expert at saying nothing.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Rich people don’t like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don’t go in much for revolution or terrorism, either.
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Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
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Head lice have their own animal-rights group, or may as well. The National Pediculosis Association doesn’t exactly advocate letting lice live with dignity, but it does oppose pediculicidal treatments.
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Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.
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Once you’ve built the big machinery of political power, remember you won’t always be the one to run it.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there’s a reason for that – the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent – No Child Left Behind.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
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Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
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You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware.
P. J. O'ROURKE






