Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
P. J. O'ROURKEEverybody is xenophobic to an extent.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
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In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
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Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
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I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
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Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession.
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The baby boomers’ politics have covered a wide band of silliness, from the Weather Underground to the Timothy McVeigh types. The great majority of us are well in the middle of that spectrum, but still, there’s been both leftie silliness and right-wing silliness.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
P. J. O'ROURKE






