I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived.
P. J. O'ROURKEWhen you’re a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, ‘Gee, I wouldn’t want to be doing that.’ They’re on your side.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don’t draft people; it’s not jury duty.
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Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
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A humorist doesn’t really do that much note-taking.
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I’m old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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Regulation creates a moral hazard.
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I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of the strictures of Ramadan.
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There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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The body is forever teaching us lessons. There are all sorts of things that we can’t do, shouldn’t do, had better not do very often or do for too long as we get older. The body makes its presence known.
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In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it’s so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I’ve received a spam text.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
P. J. O'ROURKE