A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
H. L. MENCKENJournalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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Change is not progress.
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What men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
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Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
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The ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.
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No professional politician is ever actually in favor of public economy. It is his implacable enemy, and he knows it. All professional politicians are dedicated wholeheartedly to waste and corruption. They are the enemies of every decent man.
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Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love.
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Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
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There is no idea so stupid that you can’t find a professor who will believe it.
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Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
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There are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.
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It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
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The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
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When fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
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The chief difference between free capitalism and State socialism seems to be this: that under the former a man pursues his own advantage openly, frankly and honestly, whereas under the latter he does so hypocritically and under false pretenses.
H. L. MENCKEN