For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
H. L. MENCKENA man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
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The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
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Free speech is too dangerous to a democracy to be permitted.
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Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
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The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it’s good-bye to the Bill of Rights.
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Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
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Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
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The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.
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Sometimes the idiots outvote the sensible people.
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When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
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Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
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A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
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There are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.
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On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
H. L. MENCKEN