The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.
H. L. MENCKENThe American people, North and South, went into the [Civil] war as citizens of their respective states, they came out as subjects … what they thus lost they have never got back.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
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Socialist: A man suffering from an overwhelming conviction to believe what is not true.
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Change is not progress.
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Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
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Once a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
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The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because he thinks it is true; he thinks it is true because he gets pleasure out of it.
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The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.
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Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
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Laws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner
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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
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The ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
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No professional politician is ever actually in favor of public economy. It is his implacable enemy, and he knows it. All professional politicians are dedicated wholeheartedly to waste and corruption. They are the enemies of every decent man.
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Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
H. L. MENCKEN