I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECKHousework can kill you if done right.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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He who laughs lasts.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Children make your life important.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
ERMA BOMBECK