Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECKHousework can kill you if done right.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
-
-
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK -
It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You’re on your own, Bernice.
ERMA BOMBECK -
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
ERMA BOMBECK -
The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK -
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
ERMA BOMBECK -
If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK -
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
ERMA BOMBECK -
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
ERMA BOMBECK -
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
ERMA BOMBECK