black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

Erma Bombeck

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Life
Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Clean Funny Home Mom
If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK

Chance God Growth Life Magic Moments Myself Pregnant
If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK

Inspirational Laughter Yourself
Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
ERMA BOMBECK

Clean Experience Food Funny God Oneself Religious
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
ERMA BOMBECK

Family Food Funny Planning Politics Religion
It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
ERMA BOMBECK

Communication Inspirational Life Listening Suffering
Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
ERMA BOMBECK

Care Compassion Each Other Face Human Love Nation Patience Reflection
Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Funny Parents Reward Survive
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Path Tough
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
ERMA BOMBECK

Age Eye Kind Memories Old Perspective Thinking
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
ERMA BOMBECK

Courage Dream Kindness Yourself
When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
ERMA BOMBECK

Beginning Children Room Yourself
Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
ERMA BOMBECK

Brain Damage Funny Injury
Every puppy should have a boy.
ERMA BOMBECK

Animal Boy Company Dog Friendship
I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
ERMA BOMBECK

Body Book Food Funny Myself

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Erma Bombeck Quotes