Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
ERMA BOMBECKThere’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Children make your life important.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
ERMA BOMBECK