Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
ERMA BOMBECKNever have more children than you have car windows.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
ERMA BOMBECK







