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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

Dorothy Parker

The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKER

Education Learning Yourself
But I don’t give up; I forget why not.
DOROTHY PARKER

Forget Give Up Inspirational Myself One Liner
Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER

Alcohol Quick Vice
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fingers Hands Leaving Love Wisdom
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance End Surprise Woman Young
Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deny Fake Lying Storm Trouble
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER

Death People Young
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
DOROTHY PARKER

Identity Literature Study Yourself
The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
DOROTHY PARKER

Depend Law Life Thinking Worst Yourself
Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.
DOROTHY PARKER

Identity Normal Popular
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER

Art Seat Writing
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
DOROTHY PARKER

Animal Business People Right Yourself
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
DOROTHY PARKER

Goodness Money Myself Togetherness Writing
I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.
DOROTHY PARKER

Mindset True Writing
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER

Break Friendship Time
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fools Myself Sorry Touch

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

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Popular Authors

More Dorothy Parker Quotes