The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKERTake me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
-
-
But I don’t give up; I forget why not.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Should they whisper false of you, Never trouble to deny; Should the words they say be true, Weep and storm and say they lie.
DOROTHY PARKER -
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Maybe it is only I, but conditions are such these days, that if you use studiously correct grammar, people suspect you of homosexual tendencies.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER -
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I don’t mind anything that’s written about me, as long as it’s not true.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER







