People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
DOROTHY PARKERThe cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
DOROTHY PARKER -
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
DOROTHY PARKER -
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.
DOROTHY PARKER -
He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
DOROTHY PARKER -
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER -
The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The only dependable law of life – everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.
DOROTHY PARKER