My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn’t a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
DICK GREGORYWhen I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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They told me there was very little racial prejudice in Hawaii. Like a woman is just a little bit pregnant.
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Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
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Once I realized the value of making people laugh, I got very good at it. Fast.
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I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
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In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago, it’s a sport.
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You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We’re the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.
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I believe young voters will either vote for Obama or not vote at all. So the problem is not Obama the problem is the system. If you think about how mess up this country is, most folk really don’t have choices.
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I never thought I’d see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we were in Mississippi.
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And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
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When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
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Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don’t have the ability to be lovable.
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Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
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My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
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You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
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When you’ve got something really good, you don’t have to force it on people. They will steal it!
DICK GREGORY