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I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.

Dick Gregory

I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORY

Career Laughter Myself
You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
DICK GREGORY

Career Difference Freedom Time Yourself
There is a limit on how much information you can keep bottled up.
DICK GREGORY

Limitation Yourself
One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.
DICK GREGORY

Happiness Learning Oneself People Secret
Revolution ain’t nothing but an extent of evolution; Evolution is a fact of nature.
DICK GREGORY

Nature Revolution
Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
DICK GREGORY

Education Knowledge Wisdom
America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
DICK GREGORY

Animal Human Life Tolerance
I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY

Home Myself People
Poor is a state of mind you never grow out of, but being broke is just a temporary condition.
DICK GREGORY

Difference Grow Up Mindset Poor
If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
DICK GREGORY

Myself Poor
I tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
DICK GREGORY

Home Myself People
In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago, it’s a sport.
DICK GREGORY

Duty Place Right Sports Vote
We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
DICK GREGORY

Book Greatness History Thinking Victory Win
When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
DICK GREGORY

Deal Expression Insult Man Myself
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
DICK GREGORY

Alcohol Control Yourself
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY

Beginning Forget Politics Promise Relationship

I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.

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I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.

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