You hear entertainers all the time, saying, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for this, I’d do it for free.’ When’s the last time you ever heard a business person say, ‘If I couldn’t get paid for being chairman of British Petroleum, I’d do it for free?’
DICK GREGORYI’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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One of the things I keep learning is that the secret of being happy is doing things for other people.
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I personally would say that the quickest way to wipe out a group of people is to put them on a soul food diet.
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
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Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
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My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
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When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
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The only good thing about the good old days is they’re gone.
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Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.
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If it wasn’t for Abe Lincoln, I’d still be on the open market.
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My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn’t a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
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Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
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It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
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Home was a place to be only when all other places were closed.
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They told me there was very little racial prejudice in Hawaii. Like a woman is just a little bit pregnant.
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We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
DICK GREGORY







