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I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.

Dick Gregory

We used to root for the Indians against the cavalry because we didn’t think it was fair in the history books that when the cavalry won it was a great victory, and when the Indians won it was a massacre.
DICK GREGORY

Book Greatness History Thinking Victory Win
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORY

Believe Darkness Myself
Everything we do we should look at in terms of millions of people who can’t afford it.
DICK GREGORY

Gratitude People Rich Thankful Worth
I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp – just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.
DICK GREGORY

Black Enjoyment Man Myself
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
DICK GREGORY

Alcohol Control Yourself
When I first broke through, there was only NBC, CBS and ABC, and they had news in the morning and in the evening – there wasn’t no 24-hour news.
DICK GREGORY

Break Morning Myself Time
I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country.
DICK GREGORY

Country Friendship Mindset Myself Pay
Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
DICK GREGORY

Beginning Forget Politics Promise Relationship
When you’ve got something really good, you don’t have to force it on people. They will steal it!
DICK GREGORY

Force Goodness People Yourself
When you shoot right and truth and justice down, the more right and truth and justice will rise up.
DICK GREGORY

Justice Right Rise Truth
Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
DICK GREGORY

Angry Hell
Did you know that in New Orleans they still have brown bag parties? What’s that, you ask? You and I go to a party, and when we get to the door, there’s a brown bag hanging down from the ceiling, and if our skin is darker than the brown bag, we can’t go in.
DICK GREGORY

Darkness Oppression Ourselves Skin Togetherness Yourself
Education means to bring out wisdom. Indoctrination means to push in knowledge.
DICK GREGORY

Education Knowledge Wisdom
There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
DICK GREGORY

Force God Live Willing Yourself
My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that’s never been explained.
DICK GREGORY

Belief Explanation Myself
Coconut milk is the only thing on this planet that comes identically to mother’s milk.
DICK GREGORY

Food Mom

I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.

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I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.

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