I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORYRiches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
DICK GREGORY -
Just being a Negro doesn’t qualify you to understand the race situation any more than being sick makes you an expert on medicine.
DICK GREGORY -
When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
DICK GREGORY -
The only good thing about the good old days is they’re gone.
DICK GREGORY -
And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
DICK GREGORY -
I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
DICK GREGORY -
There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
DICK GREGORY -
I used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
DICK GREGORY -
Revolution ain’t nothing but an extent of evolution; Evolution is a fact of nature.
DICK GREGORY -
In America, with all of its evils and faults, you can still reach through the forest and see the sun. But we don’t know yet whether that sun is rising or setting for our country.
DICK GREGORY -
It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn’t stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.
DICK GREGORY -
If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol, and caffeine off the market for six days, they’d have to bring out the tanks to control you.
DICK GREGORY -
I personally believe breathatarianism to be the highest mode of human living breathing in pure air, absorbing the direct light and energies of the sun, bathing in pure water I look at the obituaries every morning and ain’t nobody listed but you eaters.
DICK GREGORY -
I never learned hate at home, or shame. I had to go to school for that.
DICK GREGORY -
We thought I was going to be a great athlete, and we were wrong, and I thought I was going to be a great entertainer, and that wasn’t it either. I’m going to be an American Citizen. First-class.
DICK GREGORY