I’m not a comic. I’m a humorist.
DICK GREGORYI tell people, ‘If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.’
More Dick Gregory Quotes
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When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It’s not enough, but it helps.
DICK GREGORY -
Makes you wonder. When I left St. Louis, I was making five dollars a night. Now I’m getting $5,000 a week — for saying the same things out loud I used to say under my breath.
DICK GREGORY -
No kid in the world, no woman in the world should ever raise a hand against a no-good daddy. That’s already been taken care of: A Man Who Destroys His Own Home Shall Inherit the Wind.
DICK GREGORY -
America will tolerate the taking of a human life without giving it a second thought. But don’t misuse a household pet.
DICK GREGORY -
When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, ‘I’ve been gypped,’ or, ‘He welshed on the deal.’
DICK GREGORY -
I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp – just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man.
DICK GREGORY -
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
DICK GREGORY -
I waited at the counter of a white restaurant for eleven years. When they finally integrated, they didn’t have what I wanted.
DICK GREGORY -
If all you can do is judge a person by their appearance because you don’t have the spirit to judge someone from within, you’re in trouble.
DICK GREGORY -
My mother was the sweetest lady who ever lived on this planet, but if you tried to tell her that Jesus wasn’t a Christian, she would stomp you to death.
DICK GREGORY -
I used to get letters saying, ‘I didn’t know black children and white children were the same.’
DICK GREGORY -
Revolution ain’t nothing but an extent of evolution; Evolution is a fact of nature.
DICK GREGORY -
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
DICK GREGORY -
When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete’s feet don’t exist, there’s something wrong.
DICK GREGORY -
There’s a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
DICK GREGORY







