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Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

Dick Cavett

Every so often, there is an article saying the old kind of talk show isn’t possible now. In the oldest kind of talk show, you only had the choice of that or two other channels!
DICK CAVETT

Article Channel Choice Kind Old Possible
I’m not sure why writing for others became harder. Probably a reluctance to give away anything you might conceivably use yourself caused a block. I did it, but it remained hard when it had once been easy.
DICK CAVETT

Block Easy Hard Myself Reason Writing
Meryl Streep belongs on anybody’s list of greats.
DICK CAVETT

Greatness List Name
The greatest benefit of depression is the fact that when I have talked about it, every so often someone comes up and says, you saved my dad’s life.
DICK CAVETT

Benefit Father Greatness Life Myself
I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
DICK CAVETT

Funny Myself People
Lawyers work hard and, like us, they’re human, many of them.
DICK CAVETT

Hard Work Lawyer Ourselves
The trick to writing for people is, you have to be able to turn them on in your head. And know how they’d word something or how they’d inflect it.
DICK CAVETT

Head Inflection Trick Word Writing Yourself
If I were running a campaign, I’d urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely – on a talented young comedy writer.
DICK CAVETT

Campaign Comedy Myself Pizza Run Talent Wisdom Young
In the main, ghosts are said to be forlorn and generally miserable, if not downright depressed. The jolly ghost is rare.
DICK CAVETT

Depression Ghost Misery Rare
Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
DICK CAVETT

Best Column Consider Home Myself Suspect
There is something about a Luger that separates it from all other handguns, and Luger devotees and Luger society members speak of it in romantic terms that must sound plain nuts to those who consider themselves level-headed.
DICK CAVETT

Devotee Head Level Romance Society Weapon
The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.
DICK CAVETT

Force Police Sex
It’s no fun being a specimen.
DICK CAVETT

Fun One Liner Specimen
I confess, I do have to remind myself almost daily that there are people on this earth capable of reading, writing, eating and dressing themselves who believe their lives are ruled from billions of miles away, by the stars – and, of course, the planets.
DICK CAVETT

Believe Confession Live Planet Reading Reminder Space
I have a long list of things that make me mad.
DICK CAVETT

Angry List Mad Myself
The brain process that results in a joke materializing where no joke was before remains a mystery. I’m not aware of any scholarly, scientific or neurological studies on the subject.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Joke Mystery Process Result Study Subject

Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

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Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

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