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Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

Dick Cavett

I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
DICK CAVETT

Funny Myself People
The Nixon administration kept a nasty eye on our show… Cops would come by – often just in time to see the act they wanted to see.
DICK CAVETT

Administration Eyes See Sight
I’m the only talk show host, I think, if there’s such a category in, what’s called, the book of records, to have a guest die while we were taping the show, yeah.
DICK CAVETT

Book Category Death Record Talk Thinking
It’s no fun being a specimen.
DICK CAVETT

Fun One Liner Specimen
There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: ‘What’s your sign?’ Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.
DICK CAVETT

Allow Day Violate
There are online forms you can fill out to send to your lawmakers, demanding that nothing – nothing at all or in any way – be done about any guns whatever, anywhere.
DICK CAVETT

Form Law Online Weapon Yourself
I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-’60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn’t the night before.
DICK CAVETT

Advantage Laughter Myself Night Stand Work
It was at a vividly bad time in Norman Mailer’s life that I met him, and a sort of water-treading time in mine. He had stabbed his wife, and I was a copy boy at Time magazine.
DICK CAVETT

Bad Life Magazine Time Wife
Chris Matthews can’t start any sentence without ‘Let me ask you this… ‘ And I love Chris Matthews! But almost everybody in journalism does it. Who’s stopping you? Just say it!
DICK CAVETT

Journalism Myself Sentence Start
A grown man, weeping, is a tough thing to see.
DICK CAVETT

Growth Man See Tough
Home schooling as an idea is on a par with home dentistry.
DICK CAVETT

Dentist Home Ideas School
To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.
DICK CAVETT

Intellectual Label Myself Understand
I’m not freakishly short. I had, on my show, used shortness as a joke subject; it didn’t really bother me.
DICK CAVETT

Joke Myself Short Show Subject
Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don’t happen.
DICK CAVETT

Chance Coincidence Thinking
Therapists need to give a depressed patient support and direction.
DICK CAVETT

Depression Direction Patience Therapy
I like when the ice gets thin, the going gets rough, the guests get edgy.
DICK CAVETT

Edge Guest Ice Myself

Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

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Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

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Popular Authors

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