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Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

Dick Cavett

The information superhighway? That sounds like a place that’s long and boring and kills 50,000 people a year.
DICK CAVETT

Information Kill People Place Sound
I live a sensible life. You know, I don’t take on too much.
DICK CAVETT

Life Live Myself
There are online forms you can fill out to send to your lawmakers, demanding that nothing – nothing at all or in any way – be done about any guns whatever, anywhere.
DICK CAVETT

Form Law Online Weapon Yourself
Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.
DICK CAVETT

Site Try Weapon Wish
Does anything show the complexity of the miraculous brain more than that weird curiosity, the sleep-protection dream?
DICK CAVETT

Complex Curiosity Dreams Protection Weird
Music bypasses the brain and goes straight to the heart. I wish my life had more of it.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Heart Life Music Straight
Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.
DICK CAVETT

Day Device Myself Sick
There is something about a Luger that separates it from all other handguns, and Luger devotees and Luger society members speak of it in romantic terms that must sound plain nuts to those who consider themselves level-headed.
DICK CAVETT

Devotee Head Level Romance Society Weapon
Perhaps the saddest irony of depression is that suicide happens when the patient gets a little better and can again function sufficiently.
DICK CAVETT

Better Depression Function Patience Sadness Suicide
Running my show is really like an actor being in repertory but where, in one day in one performance, you do scenes from a drama, a farce, a low comedy and a tragedy.
DICK CAVETT

Oneself Performance Scene Show Tragedy
Commercials are not the only exposure that obesity gets on TV. It is by no means a rarity on the wonderful Judge Judy’s show when both plaintiff and accused all but literally fill the screen.
DICK CAVETT

Commercial Exposure Judge Rare Screen
Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing.
DICK CAVETT

Assumption Finance Handle Himself People Treat
A conversation does not have to be scintillating in order to be memorable. I once met a president of the United States, and his second sentence to me was about knees.
DICK CAVETT

Conversation Memorable Myself Order Sentence
I’m sure I’ve all but lost friends by maintaining that, despite their love for it, I always saw Stanley Kramer’s ‘It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’ as more of an exercise in anti-comedy than humor.
DICK CAVETT

Exercise Friendship Lost Maintenance Myself
When I’m doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: ‘Tell about the guy who died on your show!’
DICK CAVETT

Appearance Count Death Show Talk Yourself
Every comic can report a few ‘gift from the gods’ moments.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Gift God Moments Report

Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

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Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.

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