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I always wanted to live in a haunted house.

Dick Cavett

When I’m doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: ‘Tell about the guy who died on your show!’
DICK CAVETT

Appearance Count Death Show Talk Yourself
History is not reassuring on the subject of the longevity of seemingly lasting great nations, is it?
DICK CAVETT

Assurance Greatness History Subject Union
Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
DICK CAVETT

Dirty Food Letter Mindset Word
It takes a certain amount of guts to go to your class reunions.
DICK CAVETT

Amount Class Union
I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
DICK CAVETT

Funny Myself People
Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
DICK CAVETT

Best Column Consider Home Myself Suspect
I have never been converted to or even had much interest in spiritualism, occultism, Swedenborgianism or any particular religion. And I never, except occasionally for a laugh, visit the quacks who call themselves psychics.
DICK CAVETT

Call Exception Interest Laughter Myself Religion
Every comic can report a few ‘gift from the gods’ moments.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Gift God Moments Report
There are online forms you can fill out to send to your lawmakers, demanding that nothing – nothing at all or in any way – be done about any guns whatever, anywhere.
DICK CAVETT

Form Law Online Weapon Yourself
Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.
DICK CAVETT

Promotion See Subtle
It was well after college that I learned about depression. I got my first job for Jack Paar. I realized I was sleeping 14 hours a day and just living for the Paar show.
DICK CAVETT

College Learning Myself Realization
Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don’t happen.
DICK CAVETT

Chance Coincidence Thinking
The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.
DICK CAVETT

Force Police Sex
I always wanted to live in a haunted house.
DICK CAVETT

Haunt Home Live Myself
Being the offspring of English teachers is a mixed blessing. When the film star says to you, on the air, ‘It was a perfect script for she and I,’ inside your head you hear, in the sarcastic voice of your late father, ‘Perfect for she, eh? And perfect for I, also?’
DICK CAVETT

Blessing Head Movie Myself Perfection Teacher
I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they’re qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.
DICK CAVETT

Children Feeling Fools Guide Home Parents Poor Smart

I always wanted to live in a haunted house.

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I always wanted to live in a haunted house.

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