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I always wanted to live in a haunted house.

Dick Cavett

When I’m doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: ‘Tell about the guy who died on your show!’
DICK CAVETT

Appearance Count Death Show Talk Yourself
Anything seen on TV is, in a subtle and sinister sense, thereby endorsed.
DICK CAVETT

Promotion See Subtle
You can, after all, reduce the reasons for watching TV to but two: to be lulled, and to be stimulated. Some people do one sometimes, the other sometimes. Some people do all of one or all of the other.
DICK CAVETT

People Reason Television Watch
Perhaps the saddest irony of depression is that suicide happens when the patient gets a little better and can again function sufficiently.
DICK CAVETT

Better Depression Function Patience Sadness Suicide
I’ll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.
DICK CAVETT

Away Happiness Myself Stay
I have yet to see one of those Comedy Central shows with multiple standup comics that doesn’t include someone the size of the Hindenburg.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Myself See Show Stand
Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don’t happen.
DICK CAVETT

Chance Coincidence Thinking
Does anything show the complexity of the miraculous brain more than that weird curiosity, the sleep-protection dream?
DICK CAVETT

Complex Curiosity Dreams Protection Weird
My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.
DICK CAVETT

Achievement Dreams Myself Night Someday
It’s a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn’t want to hear.
DICK CAVETT

Himself Person Rare
A grown man, weeping, is a tough thing to see.
DICK CAVETT

Growth Man See Tough
Depression – it falls into that small category of things like combat that, if you haven’t been in it, you can say you can imagine it all you like. But it’s truly different.
DICK CAVETT

Category Depression Different Small True
I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-’60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn’t the night before.
DICK CAVETT

Advantage Laughter Myself Night Stand Work
It’s a tribute to the human brain that anyone is able to function out there on television in a talk situation that is entirely artificial.
DICK CAVETT

Artificial Function Human Situation Tribute
Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
DICK CAVETT

Dirty Food Letter Mindset Word
Commercials are not the only exposure that obesity gets on TV. It is by no means a rarity on the wonderful Judge Judy’s show when both plaintiff and accused all but literally fill the screen.
DICK CAVETT

Commercial Exposure Judge Rare Screen

I always wanted to live in a haunted house.

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I always wanted to live in a haunted house.

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