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My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’

Dave Chappelle

I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Bad Country God Hope Land Myself Swear
No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Answer Children Hands Old Phone Yourself
Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Late Listening Myself Quit Work
I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Care Issues Money Myself Work
Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it’s not nothing, it’s something. But it’s not the end all, be all. There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Choice End Life Money Myself Purchase Value
When I’m on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that’s the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Happiness Life Myself Reality Time
I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Condition Failure Love Myself People
I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Ideas Life Myself People Walk
For one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Famous Gratitude Himself Love Possible
They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Commercial Difference Listening Money Myself Pay Taste
Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Conquer Performance Street Venue
I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Fantasy Myself
The higher up I went, the less happy I was.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Happy High Myself
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Himself Religious Scripture Sin Smoking
I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear – I’m not mad at anybody – not anymore.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Angry Mad Myself Past Talk
Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Action Death Kill Woman

My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’

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My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’

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Popular Authors

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