They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.
DAVE CHAPPELLEMy wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
More Dave Chappelle Quotes
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Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.
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I love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing.
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People don’t know what it’s like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you.
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I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
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The kid is the best thing that ever happened to me.
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The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.
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I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.
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You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
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The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
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No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it.
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Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work.
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I’m happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn’t make things easier, but I’m so much better at handling them.
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The world can’t tell you who you are. You’ve just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse.
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The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive.
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It seems like there’s never enough famous white people among comic in Hollywood.
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