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There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

Brendan Behan

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Summer Winter
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
There’s no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Like Love One Love You
God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Family Forgive Men Mother
Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Friendship Hurt Writing
A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Hands Life Modern Toss
Most horror movies are certainly that.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cinema Horror Most
A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles … it takes your mind off the cost of living.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cost General Living Mind War
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
I ruined my health drinking to other people’s.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinking People Ruined
He was born an Englishman and remained one for years.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Born Country Irish People Years
Every cripple has his own way of walking.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cripples Walking Way
Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Money World
Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Contempt Jailer Prison
I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It’d depend whose life.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Capital Crime Imagine Punishment
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Marriage Sexy

There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

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There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

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