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There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

Brendan Behan

When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Fighting Men Two Woman
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Humor Mother
I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Alcohol Drinking Two
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Dublin Irish Life People
Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Money World
There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Made Miserable Situation
I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Children Married Painter
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Summer Winter
Scream at God if that’s the only thing that will get results.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Prayer Results Scream
A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles … it takes your mind off the cost of living.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cost General Living Mind War
Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Friendship Hurt Writing
A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Hands Life Modern Toss
What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Differences History Men
I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It’d depend whose life.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Capital Crime Imagine Punishment
When I’m talking to people I like to stop and quote myself. My quotes have a way of spicing up conversation.
BRENDAN BEHAN

People Talking Way

There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

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There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.

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