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When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.

Brendan Behan

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny
An author’s first duty is to let down his country.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Down Firsts Let
A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Hands Life Modern Toss
A man is fortunate if he encounters living examples of vice, as well as of virtue, to inspire him.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Inspire Men Role Models
There’s no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Like Love One Love You
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Marriage Sexy
I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinkers Problem Writing
There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Bad Obituary Publicity
I ruined my health drinking to other people’s.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinking People Ruined
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Humor Mother
A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles … it takes your mind off the cost of living.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cost General Living Mind War
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Judging Said Umpires
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
Scream at God if that’s the only thing that will get results.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Prayer Results Scream
I saw a notice that said “Drink Canada Dry” and I’ve just started.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Drinking Food
I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Children Married Painter

When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.

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When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.

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