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When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.

Brendan Behan

I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It’d depend whose life.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Capital Crime Imagine Punishment
When I’m talking to people I like to stop and quote myself. My quotes have a way of spicing up conversation.
BRENDAN BEHAN

People Talking Way
An author’s first duty is to let down his country.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Down Firsts Let
I saw a notice that said “Drink Canada Dry” and I’ve just started.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Drinking Food
Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Friendship Hurt Writing
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Marriage Sexy
Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Money World
There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Bad Obituary Publicity
I ruined my health drinking to other people’s.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinking People Ruined
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny
Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Judging Said Umpires
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Dublin Irish Life People
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
BRENDAN BEHAN

Deeds Forget Poor
You made one mistake. You married me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cynical Married Mistake
I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Children Married Painter

When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.

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When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.

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