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When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.

Brendan Behan

I cannot imagine any crime worse than taking a life, can you? -It’d depend whose life.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Capital Crime Imagine Punishment
Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Money World
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Dublin Irish Life People
There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Made Miserable Situation
A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Hands Life Modern Toss
I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Alcohol Drinking Two
In a society which really supported marriage the wife would be encouraged to go to the office and make love to her husband on the company’s time and with its blessing.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Blessing Husband Marriage
Scream at God if that’s the only thing that will get results.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Prayer Results Scream
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Inspirational Irish People Psychosis
If you accept your limitations you go beyond them.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Accepting Country Irish Limitation People
I ruined my health drinking to other people’s.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinking People Ruined
Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn’t affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Saint Theatre Two Years
An author’s first duty is to let down his country.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Down Firsts Let
I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinkers Problem Writing
Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Contempt Jailer Prison
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny

When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.

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When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.

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