Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
BRENDAN BEHANThere’s no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
More Brendan Behan Quotes
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Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
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A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles … it takes your mind off the cost of living.
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Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the satisfaction of his death.
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It is a good deed to forget a poor joke
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A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.
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When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.
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There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.
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Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.
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Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.
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There’s no bad publicity except an obituary.
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Every cripple has his own way of walking.
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The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
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I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.
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I ruined my health drinking to other people’s.
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I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
BRENDAN BEHAN








