I’m funny because I’m funny. And there’s more to offer.
BRAD WILLIAMSI don’t know why you’d go to a comedian and say, “You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets.”
More Brad Williams Quotes
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People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.
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There are things that I won’t joke about, but it’s not because I don’t think they’re funny or they can’t be made funny. It’s just that they don’t fit my particular skill set.
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In every other aspect of their life, we have entertainment that is crafted almost to an individual. So they expect that from stand-up as well.
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Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to – everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.
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There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
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I try not to be hateful.
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If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, “That joke offended me,” I’m still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
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When a soldier of the night’s watch dies they say, “And now his watch is over.” That’s what they say when a comedian dies. They go, “And now his tour is done.”
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I hate that when people are like, “Well, all dwarves know each other, right?” And you want to get mad, but you can’t because we do.
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I was always the funny guy. Everyone wants to hang out with the funny guy.
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Most of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because… they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can’t take it to a dangerous place.
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It’s extremely important for people to be informed and to be educated and to know what’s going in their community and in their country, but every now and then you just kind of want to turn the brain off for a little bit and just laugh and be silly.
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I’m not going to talk too much politics because I’m not smart enough to do that.
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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Every now and then we’re going to fail.
BRAD WILLIAMS







