There are plenty of wonderful, good fat people in the USA that have no problems being fat, who I have no problems with being fat.
BRAD WILLIAMSMost of the times to be honest with you, I get sexually harassed certainly more than I do to females, because… they are comfortable with me, and because they know I can’t take it to a dangerous place.
More Brad Williams Quotes
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I found out if you’re a funny guy, a lot of people like you.
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People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.
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I don’t know why you’d go to a comedian and say, “You know what? You have a large menu of items, but this one thing I did not like and therefore, you should be shut down. You should cease to make a living and you should be thrown out in the streets.”
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Now, I’ve gotten to the point in my career, I’m 13 years in, to where I know that I’m funny. I know that I’m good at this.
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Every now and then you’ll say something that didn’t quite work. But the important thing is, as a comic, you try to learn why it didn’t. And then you adjust and figure out how to either make it work or just abandon it because it’s just not funny.
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In every other aspect of their life, we have entertainment that is crafted almost to an individual. So they expect that from stand-up as well.
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Comedian makes the statement that just isn’t true.
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If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
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It’s weird when people ask me, “Why are you so nice?” It’s like, “Because that’s just what you should do. You should be kind to people.” It seems really basic, but it’s amazing how many people forget that.
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Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to – everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.
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There is often times when I’m in a bar or after a show, and a woman just grabs my head and shoves it into her cleavage, or grabs my ass, or something like that which – don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining, but it’s just interesting. It’s just interesting that that occurs.
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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they’ve seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.
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When a soldier of the night’s watch dies they say, “And now his watch is over.” That’s what they say when a comedian dies. They go, “And now his tour is done.”
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There are things that I won’t joke about, but it’s not because I don’t think they’re funny or they can’t be made funny. It’s just that they don’t fit my particular skill set.
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I’m in awe of comedians that do things that I can’t do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be – hell, Carrot Top. I can’t be Carrot Top. I can’t.
BRAD WILLIAMS