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Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix and stay conscious.

Boris Johnson

I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.
BORIS JOHNSON

Betrayal Drugs Myself Sugar Thinking
I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around.
BORIS JOHNSON

Him Love Myself Passion Run
Can I say anything good about Ken Livingstone? A long time ago he did some good things, but I can’t now remember what any of them were.
BORIS JOHNSON

Anything Long Remember Say
In 1904, 20 per cent of journeys were made by bicycle in London. I want to see a figure like that again. If you can’t turn the clock back to 1904, what’s the point of being a Conservative?
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservatism Journey Time Transportation
He wished that Britain had ‘a man of his supreme quality at the head of affairs in our country today’. This from the hero of the First World War! The man who had led Britain to victory over the Kaiser!
BORIS JOHNSON

Country Raised Today Victory
When Cameron’s Conservatives come to power it will be a golden age for cyclists and an Elysium of cycle lanes, bike racks, and sharia law for bike thieves. And I hope that cycling in London will become almost Chinese in its ubiquity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Cycling Law Ubiquity
We celebrate the contribution of people who have come to this country to make it better.
BORIS JOHNSON

Celebrate Country People
You are part of our Great British family.
BORIS JOHNSON

British Country Family Great
Life isn’t like coursework, baby. It’s one damn essay crisis after another.
BORIS JOHNSON

Crisis Essay Life Oneself
He thinks of himself as a gigantic keystone in the arch, with all the lesser stones logically induced to support his position. He has a kind of semi-ideology to go with it – a leftish Toryism: imperialist, romantic, but on the side of the working man.
BORIS JOHNSON

Ideology Lesser Logically Position
I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.
BORIS JOHNSON

Interest Myself Pure Support
I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.
BORIS JOHNSON

Facts Icing Thinking
My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.
BORIS JOHNSON

Mars Olive Pms Trees
When Cameron’s Conservatives come to power it will be a golden age for cyclists and an Elysium of cycle lanes, bike racks, and sharia law for bike thieves. And I hope that cycling in London will become almost Chinese in its ubiquity.
BORIS JOHNSON

Conservatism Cycle Gold Power
Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.
BORIS JOHNSON

Chance Reason Vote Wife Yourself
I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects
BORIS JOHNSON

Dancing People War

Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix and stay conscious.

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Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix and stay conscious.

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