My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
BOB SAGET25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
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What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone’s ringing a lot more and I’ve got nine lines so when it doesn’t ring, it’s very frustrating.
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I will always prefer a hardback book, but I’m drawn to digital because it’s so easy to acquire them when I’m having a need-to-read moment.
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
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What I’ve learned about comedy people is that they’re defined by the harshest level they’ve been to, their personal Auschwitz.
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If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
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Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
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I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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My humor was kind of from my dad and all the stuff that we went through, which was a lot of death. My humor was an escape.
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I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
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I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
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Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
BOB SAGET