Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGET -
I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
BOB SAGET -
I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
BOB SAGET -
If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
BOB SAGET -
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
BOB SAGET -
Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGET -
I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
BOB SAGET -
I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
BOB SAGET -
I love my mom! You can too for $12!
BOB SAGET -
My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET -
The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
BOB SAGET -
Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
BOB SAGET -
What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET -
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET -
I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
BOB SAGET