I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
BOB SAGETI’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
BOB SAGETIt’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
BOB SAGETMost people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGETSome people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.
BOB SAGETI have no agenda, nothing to control.
BOB SAGETMy dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGETToday is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGETI think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
BOB SAGETThey say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
BOB SAGETThe nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
BOB SAGETI don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
BOB SAGETNo one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGETI’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
BOB SAGETSometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
BOB SAGETThe secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
BOB SAGETYet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
BOB SAGET