With my wife it was sex, sex, sex…Yes, three times in 35 years.
BOB MONKHOUSEI’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
More Bob Monkhouse Quotes
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I was a born club comic. Radio and TV and stage were fine, but I found my real home in cabaret.
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A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.
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I came home and found that my son was taking drugs – my very best ones too!
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I can still enjoy sex at 74 – I live at 75, so it’s no distance.
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My wife said, ‘Can my mother come down for the weekend?’ So I said, ‘Why?’ And she said, ‘Well, she’s been up on the roof two weeks already.’
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My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
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Dulwich College takes me back after seventy years: My Mum must have written one hell of a sick note!
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I’ll never stop working. I want to die in the saddle. A day is wasted for me if I haven’t done something even mildly creative.
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Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?
BOB MONKHOUSE -
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now.
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My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
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I’d never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.
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I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.
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I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
BOB MONKHOUSE -
My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
BOB MONKHOUSE