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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

Bo Burnham

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Belief Funny Humor
Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
BO BURNHAM

Country Guy Impression People
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory
“Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?” I don’t worship comedy; at the end of the day I don’t fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
BO BURNHAM

Audience Awordship Comedy Unwquestiongly
I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
BO BURNHAM

Dollars Long Pussy
My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
BO BURNHAM

Camera Down And Firsts
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Guy Humor
Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Intelligent
I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Gay Humor Jesus
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAM

Donkey Funny Giants Humor
I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Comedy Watches
Love is all about… whistles.
BO BURNHAM

About Love Whistle
I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.
BO BURNHAM

Controversial Thinking Trying
My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment. It’s more like a character that’s sculpted for whatever joke needs communicating at the moment.
BO BURNHAM

Character Meaningful Way
I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Locks Safe
Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
BO BURNHAM

Asian Country People Persons

Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

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Popular Authors

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