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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

Bo Burnham

I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
BO BURNHAM

Bears Beliefs Bipolar Mets
I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
BO BURNHAM

About Caution Real Things Understand
Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Enjoy Fun
Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
BO BURNHAM

Like Parent Something Sometimes Watch
If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
BO BURNHAM

Laughing Thinking Worst Time
I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
BO BURNHAM

Country Feminist People Rights Thinking
I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Grow Kids Song
There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind.
BO BURNHAM

Certain Joke Lines Mind Poetry
What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
BO BURNHAM

Internet Kings Pirate Song Try
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Guy Humor
I don’t want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I’m just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
BO BURNHAM

Kids Singing Song
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Funny Humor
I’m interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they’re scary, and they’re important to think about.
BO BURNHAM

Interested Real Scary Thinking
I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Fans People
The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
BO BURNHAM

Anyone Otherwise Smooth Talker Tell
I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Belief Funny Humor

Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

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Popular Authors

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