“Once or twice I’ve been described as a light comedian. I consider this the most accurate description of my abilities I’ve ever seen.”

You need a plan for yourself, just like you need a plan for a business.

My golf is woeful, but I will never surrender

The things Elvis has done during his career and the things he has contributed and created are really something very important to the music business.

[Louis Armstrong] was the only musician who ever lived, who can’t be replaced by someone.

Honestly, I think I’ve stretched a talent which is so thin it’s almost transparent over a quite unbelievable term of years.

When I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep. And I fall asleep … counting my blessings.

He never contributed a damn thing to music. (on Elvis Presley)

There is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for (Bob) Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me … We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.

I’m proud to acknowledge my debt to the ‘Reverend Satchelmouth’ … He is the beginning and the end of music in America

That was a great game of golf, fellers.

The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself.

I’m a standup comedian who gets to act. I’m never going to not do standup. I love doing it and when I go through periods where I’m doing a lot of acting work, I still do standup.

Comedian makes the statement that just isn’t true.

A comedian’s body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.

Chihuahua. There’s a waste of dog food. Looks like a dog that is still far away.

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.

I’m a light comedienne, that’s really where I live the most often.