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Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?

Bill Watterson

As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulations Forever Long
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
BILL WATTERSON

Command Information Thorough Useless
I’ve been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications – the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.
BILL WATTERSON

Kids Publication School Yearbook
My problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release – just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook.
BILL WATTERSON

Problem Tiny Trouble
Someday, I’d like to meet that little boy… and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin’s Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid Lima beans.
BILL WATTERSON

Beans Place Someday Stupid Thinking
At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you’ll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.
BILL WATTERSON

Day Every Ideas Motivation New School
I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.
BILL WATTERSON

Actually Artist Quality Smoke Tell
You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.
BILL WATTERSON

Humans Pride Source
Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.
BILL WATTERSON

Peace Play War
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
BILL WATTERSON

Children Mom Motivational
But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He’s one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
BILL WATTERSON

Demand Kind Sacrifice
Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.
BILL WATTERSON

Acid Failing Tests
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking
Calvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must’ve hit a window. Calvin: Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so delicate. Sighhh… once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
BILL WATTERSON

Beautiful Grow Up Thinking
Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
BILL WATTERSON

Enough Undead Zombie
Problems often look overwhelming at first. The secret is to break problems into small, manageable chunks. If you deal with those, you’re done before you know it.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Looks Secret

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?

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Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?

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