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You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

Bill Watterson

I’m a misunderstood genius.” “What’s misunderstood?” “Nobody thinks I’m a genius.
BILL WATTERSON

Genius Misunderstood Thinking
Calvin: Trick or treat! Adult: Where’s your costume? What are you supposed to be? Calvin: I’m yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet.
BILL WATTERSON

Boys Kids Resources Scary Supposed
Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.
BILL WATTERSON

Disappointment Friendship Harder Swearing
Boy, there’s nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.
BILL WATTERSON

Boys Inscrutable Omen
Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Childhood Spoiling
I wonder where we go when we die?” “…Pittsburgh?” “You mean if we’re good or if we’re bad?
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Wonder
Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.
BILL WATTERSON

Acid Failing Tests
Hold it. You know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?
BILL WATTERSON

Pigs Riding Three
I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
BILL WATTERSON

Dark Imagine Thinking
Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can’t, and the incapacity to tell the difference.
BILL WATTERSON

Differences Inability Praying Strength
Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I’d say our afternoon just got booked solid!
BILL WATTERSON

Humorous Running Solid Water
I’ve been interested in cartooning all my life. I read the comics as a kid, and I did cartoons for high school publications – the newspaper and yearbook and soon. In college, I got interested in political cartooning and did political cartoons.
BILL WATTERSON

Kids Publication School Yearbook
As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulations Forever Long
Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.
BILL WATTERSON

Ignorant Men Risk
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
I don’t think you’ve ever invited me to… Calvin’s Mom: Calvin, what are you doing? Calvin: Nothing, Mom. Go away. Calvin’s Mom: You’re contagious! You can’t have anyone over to play!
BILL WATTERSON

Anymore Country Mom People Play Think

You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

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You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

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