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You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

Bill Watterson

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
BILL WATTERSON

Class League Superhero
People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Witty
Calvin: Medically speaking:. That’s love?!?….. Hobbes: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!
BILL WATTERSON

Cooties Figured Happened Hobbies Love
Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Mom Peas Plan Sorry
The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.
BILL WATTERSON

Admire Special World
You have the Swiss Army Knife of mental tools, and it’s going to come in handy all the time.
BILL WATTERSON

Army Handy Knife Swiss Time
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
BILL WATTERSON

Long Memories Outside School Successful Term
Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Other Real Zombie
On the other hand, the mass media is disintegrating, and audiences are atomizing. I suspect comics will have less widespread cultural impact and make a lot less money.
BILL WATTERSON

Cultural Disintegrating Impact Less Money
Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
BILL WATTERSON

Envy Successful Years
[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Scrabble Vowels
Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond’rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces… Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug’s juices!
BILL WATTERSON

Design Grace Produce Spiders
At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. It’s a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you’ll probably take a few.
BILL WATTERSON

Along Around Detroit Enjoy Good Probably Time
Everyone knows that! Hobbes: I’m looking it up. Calvin: You do, and I’ll look up that 12-letter word you played with all the Xs and Js! Hobbes: What’s your score for ZQFMGB? Calvin: 957.
BILL WATTERSON

Everyone Knows Letter Played Score Word
I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.
BILL WATTERSON

Actually Artist Quality Smoke Tell
I’ve got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it.
BILL WATTERSON

Common Ignore Plenty Sense

You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

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You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

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Popular Authors

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