Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said ‘I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?
BILL WATTERSONHistory is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
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Boy, there’s nothing worse than an inscrutable omen.
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I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.
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I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn’t have paid for me.
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I’d like to see cartoonists measuring their work by higher standards than how many papers their strips are in and how much money they make.
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Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
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Calvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must’ve hit a window. Calvin: Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so delicate. Sighhh… once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
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Does anything we say or do in here really matter? Have we done anything important? Have we been happy? Have we made the most of these precious few footsteps?
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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
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Once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
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A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
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I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.
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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm’s Thermonuclear League of Liberty.
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County library? Reference desk, please. Hello? Yes, I need a word definition. Well, that’s the problem.
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Calvin: Medically speaking:. That’s love?!?….. Hobbes: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!
BILL WATTERSON







