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History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.

Bill Watterson

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
BILL WATTERSON

Snow Winning
[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Scrabble Vowels
I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.
BILL WATTERSON

Behavior Encouragement Friendship Modification
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.
BILL WATTERSON

Cute Funny Life Stars
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.
BILL WATTERSON

Interesting Laughing Life Track
A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
BILL WATTERSON

Color Crayon Order Perfect Pointy
That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.
BILL WATTERSON

Problem Science Trying Unimaginable
You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulation Cynically Expect Manipulate Nothing Taught
Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world’s problems?
BILL WATTERSON

Inspirational Life Peace
As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulations Forever Long
Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.
BILL WATTERSON

Acid Failing Tests
Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
BILL WATTERSON

Speaking Talking Thinking
Calvin: Medically speaking:. That’s love?!?….. Hobbes: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!
BILL WATTERSON

Cooties Figured Happened Hobbies Love
I don’t enjoy lettering very much, but that’s the way I write and that belongs in the strip because the strip is a reflection of me.
BILL WATTERSON

Lettering Reflection Way Writing
Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Morning Three
Does anything we say or do in here really matter? Have we done anything important? Have we been happy? Have we made the most of these precious few footsteps?
BILL WATTERSON

Footstep Important Made Matter Precious

History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.

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History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Watterson Quotes