Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.
BILL MURRAYThe Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.
More Bill Murray Quotes
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And go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK, and you’re still in love with that person, get married at the airport.
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Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
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When I feel like I’m stuck, I do something – not like I’m Mother Teresa or anything, but there’s someone that’s forgotten about in your life, all the time. Someone that could use an ‘Attaboy’ or a ‘How you doin’ out there.
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My back hurts. My legs ache. I’m only four!
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That’s the reason I’m not the one that’s dead because the attraction of the fast life is very powerful.
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Buddy Hackett [was] talking – this is Hackett, not me – about the Virgin Mary, a limerick sort of thing, and all these children and families … the look of absolute horror.
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Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you’ve met and you’re like, ‘Yep, I like this one,’ and you just do stuff with them.
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Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.
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You can handle just about anything that comes at you out on the road with a believable grin, common sense and whiskey.
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Half of the people in this room are more dressed up than on any other day in the year, and the other half are more dressed down.
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They are getting so much smoke blown, and their whole world gets so turned upside down, their responses become distorted. I give everybody a year or two to pull it together because, when it first happens, I know how it is.
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I don’t know what my fans are going to think. It’s definitely not what they’re used to from me.
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He’s going on and on and on, and finally he stops. It’s just total horror, and the camera’s still rolling. You can hear it, sort of a grinding noise. And the director says, “Anything else, Bud?”
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I’m just a potato that won’t quit. I’m a potato with some legs. Some have eyes, I’ve got legs.
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Now, for some of you it doesn’t matter. You were born rich and you’re going to stay rich. But here’s my advice to the rest of you.
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Zombies dont mess with other zombies.
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Chicago actors are hard-nosed. They’re tough on themselves and their fellow actors. They’re self-demanding.
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The atheists traditionally hold their conventions from Good Friday to Easter Sunday during the hours Christ spent in the grave.
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It’s hard to be an artist. It’s hard to be anything. It’s hard to be.
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People confuse friendship and relaxation. It’s incredibly important to be relaxed – you don’t have a chance if you’re not relaxed. So I try very hard to relax any kind of tension. But friendship is different.
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When I was a little kid playing baseball, my manager called me Sleepy. And only a few people, who know me from way, way back, call me that still. I used to drift off and that’s why they made me the catcher, so I wouldn’t fall asleep. That gift I have still.
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I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn’t I get that day over and over and over?
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You know…they say an elephant never forgets. What they don’t tell you is, you never forget an elephant.
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I was at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards one year – they called me up when somebody canceled two days before the thing, and asked me to present some awards.
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The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself.
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You can tell how boring a person is by the lack of fear in their eyes when someone is flipping through photos on their phone.
BILL MURRAY