Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it’s usually something unusual.
BILL MURRAYYou know the theory of cell irritability? If you take an amoeba cell and poke it a thousand times, it will change and then re-form into its original shape. And then, the thousandth time you poke this amoeba.
More Bill Murray Quotes
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I don’t feel like it’s pressure. It’s more of an obligation – not to entertain or be funny, but to have a certain levity. I mean, there’s got to be a lightness in your leg.
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When I started, the scripts weren’t as good, and you’d have to have a huge burst of energy to go, “Sheesh, how am I going to? This stuff’s no good.”
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I mean, everybody would love to have their clothes torn off by a mob of girls, but being screamed at is different.
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I act like a jerk sometimes.
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Totie Fields is one of my benchmarks for a lot of things. There was a standard of show business.
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People usually go through a bad period when they first get successful. You’re new and you’re hot and things go wrong.
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The truth is, anybody that becomes famous is an ass for a year and a half. You’ve got to give them a year and a half, two years.
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The cell will completely collapse and become nothing. That’s kind of what it’s like being famous. People say hi, how are you doing, and after the thousandth time, you just get angry; you really pop.
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Religion is the worst enemy of mankind. No single war in the history of humanity has killed as many people as religion has.
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But I can only take so much TV, because there is so much advice. I find people will preach about virtually anything – your diet, how to live your life, how to improve your golf. The lot. I have always had a thing against the Mister Know-It-Alls.
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People are like music, some speak the truth and others are just noise.
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Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you’ve met and you’re like, ‘Yep, I like this one,’ and you just do stuff with them.
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Be available for life to happen.
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The atheists traditionally hold their conventions from Good Friday to Easter Sunday during the hours Christ spent in the grave.
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Like: ‘Don’t walk out there with one hand in your pocket unless there’s somethin’ in there you’re going to bring out.’ You gotta commit. You’ve gotta go out there and improvise and you’ve gotta be completely unafraid to die.
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Grab this day by the neck and kiss it.
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Chicago actors are hard-nosed. They’re tough on themselves and their fellow actors. They’re self-demanding.
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You can’t think about what you’re going to do. It just gets in the way. You have to be just available for life, otherwise you’re not bringing anything to the party. So I don’t lie awake thinking about what I’m going to do workwise. There’s just too much going on.
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Afghanistan is just one of those countries that no group can conquer. It’s so challenging to live, and the people are so close among their own tribes, their own groups, that you can’t rule them all, you can’t get an accord from all of them.
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And even if we win, if we win, HAH! Even if we win! Even if we play so far above our heads that our noses bleed for a week to ten days; even if God in Heaven above comes down and points his hand at our side of the field.
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And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
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I don’t want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at a bar.
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You have to be as light as you can be and not get weighed down and stuck in your emotion, stuck in your body, stuck in your head. You just want to always be trying to elevate somehow.
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You cannot pray them out of hell.
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Eh, it’s not that attractive to have a plan. I know that if I ever feel that I need to make a funny movie, I’ll figure out how to write one. I’ll get it done. If I ever get some ambition, I’m gonna get some shit done.
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I met a woman who photographed celebrity dogs for a book, and she told me that Ralph Lauren’s dog is named Rugby. I said, Yeah, but his real name is Stickball.
BILL MURRAY